Toast their clients. Funny Lawyer Quotes 'If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. The rest of his money will be donated to charity. Looking to add some laughter and exercise to your life? What did the eye doctor prescribe for a lawyer having trouble reading documents at work? He had no conviction. The lawyer had to move his cow because it got a mooing violation. A woman sued a hotel for losing her luggage. Suddenly she piped up, Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain? Katie Rass contributed research. Flushed with victory, the lawyer exuberantly sent an email to his client, Justice has triumphed! The client immediately emailed back, Appeal at once!, Ignore them and theyll go away is great advice for some of lifes annoyances. 1. A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. 'He is!' He forgot his arguments in the brief. Yo' Mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake. but they're having a really hard time putting their case together. The man hadn't paid the damages. Because he didn't get re-leased. Tax reform is when you take the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and put taxes on things that havent been taxed before. Art Buchwald, Its income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. humorist Dave Barry, The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his 4-year-old daughter for the first time. Lawyers really take the fun out of everything. Congress does not meet every year to make death worse. 13. If you use the short form, the IRS gets all your money. 'I do!' Submitted by Inchcock. Watching people slip and slide, I gingerly made my way to class. 40. 3. The visitor asks "What do you feed your chicken?". How did the lawyer help his friend settle the stolen coffee case? "Have you ever dealt with an attorney?" Certainly not when you have to complete a tax return and pay the taxes. Ever wonder why they call it a Form 1040? The lawyer won the luggage lawsuit in less than 6 hours. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. law Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flash before me.
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